The Dish Room

sigh

2005-11-02T19:14:00.000-06:00

*sigh*

Ok. We have these friends...Nick and Steph. I worked with both of them when I worked at Sears 2 years ago. We all got to be really really close friends and we hang out all the time. And we all get drunk together every once in awhile. Enter the sexual attraction. Nick and I have been attracted to each other since we met. We worked together in the Hardware department, and ALWAYS got along very well. But then, I always get along better with men than women. And Steph and Dan have always been attracted to each other. And she's kinda had a thing for me too...cause she's dropped enough hints "you're the only one of my friends that I haven't made out with yet!" Nearly every party!

So...we've been texting back and forth for the last 3 weeks or so...getting racier and racier all the time...Steph, Dan and I. Except what I didn't know, was that this had been going on between her and Dan for nearly 5 weeks. Which is fine...but just like when he had his little 'thing' with that other girl (someone from FE) he was going out of his way to hide his text messages from me. He didn't know how I'd react. What he didn't realize, was that I was having the same conversations with her. lol

So...we had a party Friday night. We all got drunk. And kinda paired off. But....not with our spouses. I was with Nick, and Steph was with Dan. I didn't care. Which is strange...but I really didn't. And I still don't. So...nothing really happened, except some kissing. Then we went home. And I went to work Sat. and Dan slept all day.

And Sunday morning Dan and I talked about what happened. We were both honest about what happened...and we were both fine with it all. So...Dan started talking to Steph about it...saying how we all need to be ok with all this, so that if anyone decided they weren't comfortable with it, we'd have the door open to communication. Good idea right? Well, Steph doesn't want to do that, 'because it would put her too close to the 'swinger' lifestyle''. WTF?! And she starts talking about how she liked it when there was a chance she could 'get caught'.

Like I didn't know what she was doing? Like I didn't have any idea that she was deliberatly following Dan around and trying to get him alone? Like I wasn't doing the same w/ Nick?

Anyway, it really bothers me that it was fine as long as it was behind my back. But once I know about it, she's not interested. I don't necessarily think she's doing it to hurt me...I think it's really just the excitement of it all. But...given how Dan is about lying...I really don't trust either one of them now. Even though he's being honest with me so far about all this...*sigh*

She wants to F**K my husband....but she doesn't want me to do anything with Nick. Oh I don't think so. IF she does something w/ my husband....whether I know it or not, I'm going to F**K Nick's brains out. Especially if they've been sneaking around.

*posted two days later*

With everything that Dan has done in the last few months, I DON'T trust him. Not with all the lying he's done. Not with all the immature behavior he's shown. I asked him point blank what he'd do when he pisses me off again, and it ends up being awhile before I give it up...is he going to run to her to let her suck him off? Since it's his 'fantasy'? He assures me no...but I still don't believe it. I wouldn't have a problem....if she were just open and honest about it. But now they've both added the elemet of "OMG I could get caught!". And add to that the fact that I'm the only person he's ever been with........and we have a bad situation. I'm trying not to be paranoid...but it's really hard to do.

2005-10-20T19:02:00.000-05:00

The song that the Cheshire Cat sings to Alice when she comes upon him for the first time, in the tree...before meeting the momeraths.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

SO yea...

2005-10-18T17:50:00.000-05:00

So.....we had some drama today. Leslie came in with a chip on her shoulders...ready to be mad at anyone she thought she could get away with it with. Unfortunately for her, she picked Wayne. I don't think the drama that happened today was all that unusual for her. From everything she's said, trouble follows her. She has no idea that SHE is the problem. She has no idea that she brings the disapproval on herself. She stood in the office ranting that she "does her job" Oh no she doesn't. She does the aspects of her job that she WANTS to do. Now...you ask, how is that any different than what anyone else does? We all do ALL our job when it's necessary. Yes, it's human nature to try to get out of doing the yucky stuff. But we ALL do what's necessary when it's necessary. She doesn't. She doesn't want to do any of it...and will do anything to get out of it. She was told yesterday she wouldn't go on probation if she went on light duty. Which she has told several people she thinks it would be 'fun' to be on light duty. So...she came in today, spoiling for a fight, so she could justify in her tiny little mind, quitting. Unfortunately, like the coward she is, she couldn't follow through.

SO....she called her husband, and had him call up there and demand she come home, because of some 'emergency'. Of course he didn't ask to speak to her, he spoke directly to Bettie. *snorts* So fake. All of it. Now...I sound just like the type of person I'm bitching about...the backbiting bitch. However, I'm telling my blog...not everyone else. This is something private. Right? Ok. Now that that's out of the way....

I get my way!! I GET MY WAY!! *does a little happy dance*

I know. For a FACT. Leslie was reccommended for termination today. Straight to Cindy. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. w00t! *smug* I'm not going to say I had anything to do with it, cause I don't know if I did or not. But it's happening. And I hope like HELL I'm there when she finds out. Cause I want to watch the little bitch get walked out. Maybe that's wrong of me...but I don't care at this point. She's caused as much stress in there lately as Jenna has. And we don't need that kind of crap. We don't need her. I've only met a few people in my life who annoy me on site like she does. *growls*

Ok. I'm offa here. Jacques is calling me. ;)

Gee Ma I wanna GO HOME!

2005-10-18T17:44:00.000-05:00

GEE MA, I WANNA GO HOME
(Author Unknown)


They say that in the army
The coffee's mighty fine
Well, it's good for cuts and bruises,
But it tastes like turpentine!
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The chicken in the army,
They say is mighty fine,
A drum rolled off the table
And squashed a pal of mine!
Oh, I don't want no more of army life!
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The clothing that they give us
They say is mighty fine
Well, me and half my regiment
Can all fit into mine
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The salary that they pay us,
They say is mighty fine
They give you thirty dollars
And take back forty-nine
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Gee Ma I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!


*****


ALTERNATE VERSION: As used in the TV show "Mash"


Father Mulcahy:
A chaplain in the Army
Has a collar on his neck,
If you don't listen to him
You'll all wind up in heck.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Colonel Potter:
Friendships in the Army
They say are mighty rare,
So I spend all my free time
Carousing with my mare.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Radar O'Reilly:
The corporals in the Army
You say we're really green,
But if it weren't for us guys
You'd be in the latrine.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Margaret Houlihan:
Oh some nurses in the Army
They haven't tied the knot,
But this one's gonna try it
With Donald Penobscott.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Hawkeye & B.J.:
Oh the surgeons in the Army
They say we're mighty bright,
We work on soldiers through the day
And nurses through the night.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The Nurses:
The surgeons in the Army
They're bright, they are profound,
But we'll take chopper pilots
They'll get you off the ground.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Corporal Klinger:
Oh some guys like the Army
I think that it's a mess,
If it's so damn terrific
How come I wear a dress?

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Frank Burns:
Oh Hawkeye and ol' B.J.
They think they're pretty smart
I'd like to take a scalpel
And stab them in the heart.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
But they won't let me go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

2005-10-11T19:49:00.000-05:00

MJ took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Seeks the determination and elasticity of will nec..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Have you seen my...

2005-10-06T19:06:00.000-05:00

"Childhood"

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had

Have you seen my Childhood...

Lovely Day

2005-08-31T20:48:00.000-05:00

Yea...isn't that a song?

So it was a lovely day. LOVELY. I absolutely LOVE my job. I can't WAIT to go back tomorrow. I can't wait to listen to the snide remarks, and backbiting. I'm so tired of that place. I would have walked out today if I didn't feel like I HAD to have the job. I mean...I do. If it wasn't for the kick ass insurance package I would have told them to go f*** themselves. Some days I just can't handle the stress. How Bettie covers for some people, and not others. Some people she just rides unmercifully, then whines cause things are going on in her life. *rolls eyes* GET THE F*CK OVER IT! My life has fallen apart in the last year, I'm so friggin confused right now as to where my life is going and what I want, yet you don't see me biting people's heads off at work! HELL NO! I come in and put on an Oscar worthy performance, and nobody fucking knows anything's wrong. Except the ONE person she runs off! The ONE PERSON in the whole fucking world that understands me, the one person I run to for EVERYTHING...and she has to be a bitch and make her want to quit. What did I do to piss someone up there off, eh God? What'd I do? I mean...aren't aren't allergies 365 days a year enough? Did you have to make me lose Steph too? Haven't I said goodbye enough? I'm so tired of saying goodbye. I'm tired of people leaving me. I know...everyone leaves. You'd think I'd be over it by now....

Things that make you go hmm...

2005-08-10T21:24:00.000-05:00

So, kindof a strange day. It was good for the most part, managed to get somewhat excited, because we decided to get direcTV. Now, for a girl who has NEVER had cable, satellite, or anything but network tv channels...this is huge. Even managed to NOT feel guilty about it. I'm doing much better about paying the bills (God knows, I've had a lot to pay recently), and things are getting easier by the day. I've taken over all the paying of the bills, I don't trust Dan to do it for me anymore. The satellite is only going to be $39 a month, till after I get my car paid off (In Nov.) so then, when it goes up to $41, we'll still be able to afford it. Cause my car payment takes nearly 1/3 of my paycheck. Why do I sound like I'm talking myself into this? It's done, can't back out now. heh Anyway, got excited about that...and was having a fairly good day...

...Till Bettie started mouthin about Stephanie. Oh buddy, that's someplace you just don't go. She said Steph was always rude to the new girl. O_o really? I didn't see Steph being any different to her, than she is to everyone else. I think if this new chick has that skin that thin, she was out the door before she came in. SO, I jumped Bettie back about it. I told her what I thought. This girl is going to have to give a little, and TRY to fit in, instead of expecting everyone else to walk on eggshells around HER. Hell no. I don't work that way. So...was in sortof a bad mood there.

Then we go over to grandma's, and have dinner, as we do every Wed. night. It was good. Braum's hamburgers, and they even remembered that I don't like anything on mine, so got me two plain. *is happy* The kids piped up about the direcTV... and I didn't get a lecture. I was surprised.

Here's the thing. I've busted my ass, for 4 years, to support myself, my kids, and my husband. My husband has turned out to be, not what I thought he was. He's lied, stolen money, and betrayed me in every way BUT cheating, and I don't even know if he's done that or not. And I'm just NOW done digging us out of debt because he stole money from me and lied about it. JUST NOW. And all this shit started in February. So, I went out and got us something nice. Something that yes, is going to cost me a little extra money, but so what? If it makes life a little nicer around here, I can handle it. Right? Why do I feel guilty then? Aren't I a big girl? Yes, we've borrowed a lot of money from Dan's mom. But the last time we borrowed, was to fix his fuck up. And before that, it was LAST YEAR. when he was STILL in school. Now he's not. Thank God. I'm so tired of worry worry worry. So tired of "you shouldn't do this" and "you shouldn't spend that". I'm sick of having to deal with stupidity. I'm tired of having to worry about bills, in a dead end job, with no help, and nobody cares. So y'know what? I don't care anymore either. Yes. I'm going to be strapped as hell for the next two months. But I was gonna be anyway. I flat out told Dan, if he has to get the money from his mom to pay his half of the bills till I pay off my car, or till he gets a job, depending on how bitchy I am at the time...that's what'll happen. I'm not going to be miserable anymore.

I think I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Just in time for J to visit. Great timing eh? I need a valium.

To me.

2005-08-07T22:51:00.000-05:00

To me. And lots of other people. My husband for one...my dad...the people I work with...hell, even my friggin dog. I fell in love with this song when I first heard it. It's just so...up. :)

Shut Up by Simple Plan

There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you
You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time to criticize me
It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right
It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today...

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't want to hear IT
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my WAY
Step UP, step UP, step UP
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

There you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do
You think your special
But I know & I know & I know & we know
That you're not
You're always there to point out my mistakes
And shove them in my face
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't want to hear ME
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my WAY
Step UP, step UP, step UP
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

(Shut up, shut up, shut up)
Is gonna bring me down
(Shut up, shut up, shut up)
You'll never bring me down

Don't tell me who I should be
(Don't tell me who I should be)
And don't try to tell me what's right for me
And don't tell me what I should do
I don't want to waste my time
I'll watch you fade away

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear IT
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my WAY
Step UP, step UP, step UP
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear IT
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my WAY
Step UP, step UP, step UP
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say
Is gonna bring me down

shut up, shut up, shut up
don't wanna hear IT
get out, get out, get out
get out of my WAY
step up, step up, step up,
you'll never stop me
nothing you say
is gonna bring me down

Bring me down
(Shut up, shut up, shut up)
Won't bring me down
Bring me down
(Shut up, shut up, shut up)
Won't bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up

OMG it's MEEE!!!

2005-07-29T17:19:00.000-05:00

the Idiot Savant
(34% dark, 60% spontaneous, 55% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR SPONTANEOUS LIGHT

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.

Because it's so easily appreciated, and often a little physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. But most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but ironically, that definitely indicates you're smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel

Because of you

2005-07-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

To you. Will you even read this? Will you get caught in the silliness above? This song makes me cry...and remember. So much. And it's all true. I wish it were a dream...do you read any of this?

"Because Of You"

I will not make
the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break, the way you did,

You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you

I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me

Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of youI don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life
because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

I uhh...did it.

2005-07-27T18:25:00.000-05:00

I threw him out. I told him I didn't care how long he left, or if he ever came back. Just to get out. He lied to me again. He told me he had a bunch of his stuff done today (financial aid shit again) and when I got home, the cats had "mysteriously" destroyed the paperwork. *sigh* So I told him to show it to me. He wouldn't. I demanded he show it to me...so he dug this torn up, wet piece of paper out of the trash. Which obviously hadn't been filled out. So I called him on it. And he admitted he lied. Then I went to the grocery store, cause let's face it, we had no food. I bought groceries...then on the way home, I stopped to check the mail. And there, in my mailbox, was the straw that broke the camel's back. Y'know those bounced checks he said he took care of... he didn't. I got a letter from the D.A. A FINAL NOTICE letter. for FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!

I asked him what he was planning to do. If he was planning to get me arrested. He said he was going to borrow the money from my grandpa, and then from his Nan to pay Grandpa back.

I'm so mad I could hit him. Hard. I can't even look at him. OH MY GOD what do I do? How do I deal with this?????? I told him I would give him 24 hours to get his financial aid shit done, and get this paid...but good God I'm going to have to take off to make sure he gets it done. I cant' afford another day off this week. *freaks out* what am I going to do???

the coolest thing since sliced bread...

2005-07-26T17:58:00.000-05:00

http://msnbc.com/modules/spaceshuttle/discoverylaunch/

I think anyway. ;)

How old am I?!

2005-07-23T19:53:00.000-05:00

You Are 24 Years Old

24

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

sailing away!

2005-07-14T22:17:00.000-05:00

Well, not sailing exactly...but we're going away! Going to Toronto for 10 days. I'm SO going to miss everyone here. It's strange. For the first time in my life, I have, while I won't say lots of friends, I have a few very close friends that I LOVE. And I'm going to miss seeing them every day. I'm going to miss Steph's laugh, and Shine's giggle when I say something -REALLY- bad. LICK MY LETTUCE BABY! It's going to be strange to not be here. And not have anything to worry about. LOL! Zoe's with Julie. I hope she's going to be ok. I know she'll be taken care of. I just know she's nervous about Sugar (Julie's dog). Meh. She'll be fine I think. I know she's going to be loved there, and hell, it's just 10 days.

I really should be packing...haha Ah well. What can I say? Dan's a bad influence, I really shouldn't procrastinate. :p

Is this really Me?!

2005-07-14T10:18:00.000-05:00

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 100%

Gluttony: 80%

Pride: 80%

Envy: 60%

Lust: 60%

Wrath: 60%

Sloth: 40%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 69%

You will die love and feared by many. And you'll be buried in a tomb.

How Sinful Are You?

Ever had one of those days?

2005-07-09T18:43:00.000-05:00

Where you tried to do everything -just- right...and it mostly worked? Do you ever get worried that you're losing it, or maybe something REALLY bad is going to happen now? I've kinda had one of those days. Everything went really well today. Had a good day. Managed to not take any Lortabs for my knee, and got through the day with relatively little pain. Ok. I hurt. But it wasn't the numbing kind of pain, or pain all the way up to my hip like it was. My knee only popped a few times.

And no one got mad. We still have some "volunteers" who think I'm in charge...but I think everyone's fine with that. They know me as being in charge, and they're not going to be there much longer anyway. It was a pretty laid back day, and we got pretty much everything done. It was strange to actually have 6 employees there today. We've run so short for so long...it's just...odd. But really nice.

Shine is coming over tonight. She needs to get out of the house and not sit there and do nothing. She needs to be around people, that are NOT affiliated with WORK. People who aren't completely nuts like everyone else we work with...people who aren't going to try to screw her every chance they get. Literally and figuratively. So, she and Heaven are coming over, and we're all going out to dinner with my dad. We're going to Mia's...and we're going to have a lot of fun. I can't wait. :)

And on a more serious note, Dad's paying for Dan's residency visa. I can't believe it. In three months (maybe less) Dan could have a job. A JOB!!! I could have some HELP with the bills!!! I could fix my car and not worry about how we are going to EAT!

And on a really happy note...The Emperor's New Groove is on TV!!! :D:D I LOVE this movie!! ~bounces with excitement~

I'm outta here folkses! (not like anyone's reading this anyway)

Being a grown up sucks.

2005-07-07T16:52:00.000-05:00

Sometimes...I just want to throw in the towel, and be a resident at my Center. I mean...they have to deal with some wonderful nursing staff, and put up with general incompetence, but really...what do they have to worry about? They can be fed if they don't want to eat by themselves, they have someone to wipe their arses when they need it, someone to come entertain them or take them TO entertainment when they want to...and all it costs them is all the money they recieve every month!! No bills to pay, nothing to worry about...sleep all day...channel surf all night...no one bitching at you cause you're late on a bill, no one griping cause you're not doing enough at work...just.....Veg.

Wouldn't it be nice if it worked that way?

Dan's currently trying to find a way to pay our last three bills this month. One is $470.81 because instead of just admitting he couldn't pay it last month, and making some arrangements, he wrote them a hot check. (another pretty on my credit) And the other, $400, because of the bullshit he pulled five months ago. Or is it six now? Anyway...the last is the Cell phone bill, which isn't any higher than it usually is. THANK GOD. But they may as well be a million, for all the money I make. It's all gone already. All of it. Even child support. And what FUN!!! we have this trip coming up. YEa...we're not paying for the trip, but we're going to have to have SOME money. Somewhere. And I'm outta ass to pull money out of. *sigh* SO....what should I do I wonder? I don't know.

Monday's Child is Fair of Face...

2005-06-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

Let's face it. Life sucks sometimes. It's hard being an adult. It's even harder acting like one.

Here's a few things I'd like to say to my coworkers...

Ok. There are a lot of things I'd like to say, but let's keep it short. There isn't a single one of us in here, that really likes being disliked. Probably me less than any. But there's also not a single one of us in here, who hasn't managed to say something pretty nasty about every other person in here at one time or another. Everyone walks around, playing both sides of the fence, and acting like children. It's been said before. Why do we all do this? What's the purpose? To make ourselves feel better about ourselves? Does it really? I always feel very guilty.

Secondly, I want one thing stated...I don't work here for you. I work here for ME. I work for a paycheck. And so do each and every person in this office. I'm not here to make you happy. I'm not here to work as fast as Rob. Or do as much as Ralph. I don't care if you all load every machine every single day. And I don't care that I don't do things as fast as you want me to. I do my best. Every day. And in the end, I'm the only one who knows that. At the end of the day, *I* have to live with the job I've done. And I don't particularly care if you're happy with it or not. I don't care if you, or Bettie, or anyone else is satisfied with the job I've done. Because I know I've given my best. And I'm tired of being made to feel like I'm not good enough.

Thirdly. Every person in here, has complained about people missing work. We ALL have. Why? What difference does it make? Because we have to work hard when everyone's not here? So what? At some point, in the near future, everyone will be back. I think we can all afford to work hard a few days sometimes. People are allowed to miss work. People are allowed to be sick. Jenna is gone because she's sick. Whether it's self inflicted or not, she IS sick. Doctors don't continually write notes if you're not. But you know something I've noticed? When she IS here, and she's keeping her mouth shut...everyone finds someone else to gripe about. We're never EVER satisfied. Why is that? I have no idea. But it seems pretty stupid to me.

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I'm sure I have more to say...I darn sure did in the shower just now! haha I get so weary of working with a bunch of children. These people are almost all older than me too! But they're never happy with ANYTHING. I get tired of it. Wouldn't you?